Lean in, my darlings, because I’m about to tell you a secret…
You see, I’m afraid of other women. Not even necessarily women, but folks who have identified or lived as women for big parts of their lives.
So I thought, if *I’M* afraid, surely other folks are too. And I brought the idea of this topic up to a bunch of amazing folks, only to hear the same thing:
“I am bisexual, but I’ve never really (kissed/had sex with/dated/etc.) another woman, because I don’t know how to approach them.”
Some of the reasons beyond “I don’t know how to approach them” included “They don’t message me back on OkCupid”, “Lesbians won’t date me”, “They’re only looking for threesomes with their male partners”.
Clearly, there was a need for a space where folks in this group could interact with other folks in this group in a safe and low-pressure environment.
Enter Glittergasm! A term a dear friend helped me come up with as a name for an even that we hoped could really speak to folks.
I wanted to create this magical fairy wonderland where there was coloring and beauty and love. I wanted a space where everyone felt perfect and beautiful and validated and warm. I wanted glitter.
I was informed by the event space that I could have “as much glitter as I wanted….to vacuum up”. So… less glitter, more ambiance. Now I just had to figure out two things:
1. How do I make this a safe event that centers the folks I want it to center?
2. How could I make this party the best good god damn party that I’ve ever hosted?
With regards to part 1, I was so lucky that the gorgeous and glorious Philly Music Hall (Sort of your Philly YMCA for alt-sex people, all about the education, not about the sex), allowed me to host this event. In addition, the amazing Jewel at Conduit Enterprises supplied the language for the event to make sure that I was including the people that I did want, and excluding the people that did not need to be a part of this event.
“This is a private, vetted event for queer folks, with an emphasis on women and femmes (inclusive of those assigned any/all genders at birth.) We are not here to police your identity. Nonbinary persons who identify or live as women or femmes in some self-identified-significant way are welcome. If you fall somewhere within this category and you like to play with other people who do, come play with us! If you are a cis man or live primarily within a masculine presentation, we ask that, in the interest of our creating an intentional space that centers women & femmes, please strongly consider if this is really the right party for you.”
I was deeply, deeply warmed that I received permission to use the language for Glittergasm because it said everything I needed to say in a beautiful, concise way.
With regards to part 2, I was EXTRA lucky in that I was able to have Glittergasm coincide with the #travelingsybian event! In honor of their 30th anniversary, Sybian sent around their delightful Ruby Red to sex educators to
spread the gospel share the experiences of riding a Sybian for the first time. We all know how I felt about MY first time on the Sybian, so I was deeply excited to help other people through their first experiences with the Sybian!
So here I am. I’ve got the space together, I’ve got the Sybian, I’ve got the coloring books, I’ve got the lemonade.
My hair wasn’t behaving with me, but god damn I looked good
And here are all the gritty details….
JUST KIDDING! I won’t tell you how it went other than to tell you it was amazing. The energy was so incredible. The people were magical. It really was a multi-hour love fest. Imagine, if you will, the happiness that drunk girls have in the bathroom with each other, and put that into a room with a bunch of folks who like the folks that are there, EXCEPT you get all of that AND EVERYONE. IS. SOBER.
How fucking cool is that?
What I will share are things that folks shared about their experiences with the Sybian. Some great, some not so great. This is about as detailed as you’re going to get on the event.
“I found the entire experience incredibly satisfying. I had no idea what to expect but the care and attention you (the operator) put into facilitating my experience was an intimacy I didn’t think I’d experience with a stranger and a machine. The way you responded to my moans and movements was incredibly sexy and took away any concerns I had about taking too long to cum or self consciousness about my noises.”
“As a person who is particular about angles and control, this did not work well for me. I mostly am pleasured by clitoral stimulation or attachment specifically for that may have helped. Also as a large person, the sitting position was uncomfortable.”
“This was my first time experiencing the Sybian and it was AWESOME! I really enjoyed being able to ride it and it was unlike any other thing I’ve ever experienced!”
“Machine was tickley and pleasant, but not pleasuring.”
“I found the nub a bit uncomfortable at first, but I think my body adjusted to the experience. It wasn’t painful, just not terribly comfortable. The power was intense but a delicate hand operating it made the experience enjoyable and not too much too soon.”
“I was so excited to try a Sybian for the first time and it was good but not as amazing as I imagined it would be.”
Amazing time! Rebecca is literally hot as fuck and so great at guiding and supporting and comforting through the process.”
As you can see some folks were in love, and some folks just weren’t feeling it. Shocking, I’m sure, to note that not every sex toy is suited for every body (cue the gasping).
I was concerned that I had peaked but in theory if I win the #travelingsybian contest, I’ll be able to make sure Glittergasm is great every time (kidding, sorta). What was amazing for me is that people were talking about Glittergasm days after the event had ended, which made me feel like a. I had created a safe event because no one was saying that the event was full of harm or danger and b. the event was fun and people loved it.
I can’t wait for the next one.