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Jon lost his job in August.

My spouse, my love, my darling, lost his job in August. Of course, this sort of life change sent me into a panic, as it normally does. I’ve been digging up ways to get our finances on track, and hoping, begging, and praying to whatever deity might possibly listen that someone, somewhere hires my husband. My concerns range from the terrifying (what happens if we cannot afford our apartment) to the ridiculous (so much for our date nights).

In the chaos, multiple people have remarked that I look as though I have my life together. I thanked them, but then I spent an awful lot of time trying to figure out what could’ve given them that impression. The last time Jon was unemployed I was a total wreck, and everyone who met me could tell. So what happened this time? What changed between 3 years ago and today?

I came out as poly, and gained a community.

In truth, we as a society sometimes underestimate the value of community. We forget how important a community can be to our mental and emotional health. We forget how a community can help support us when we’ve lost our footing, and help us up when we’ve fallen down. In fact, this community that I’m a part of has helped me more often than I can remember, in more ways than I can ever repay.

Without this community behind me, things here would be very tumultuous. I am so incredibly grateful for the fact that I have people I can talk to when the stress gets hard. When I’m feeling frustrated about my past or unsure about my future. When I can’t get a handle on my emotions. They’re there. The poly community. The sex positive community. They’re all there, encouraging me to keep moving and keep going. These people, some of whom are dear friends, others who hardly know me.

For the first time in my life, I realize that these people, these connections, they matter.

In these communities of people who don’t always appear in the mainstream. These communities of marginalized groups, they band together and they help each other when things get rough. They surround and protect each other, and they can-on occasion- police the group (I will talk about the issues and failings with communities in a different post. Let’s stay positive though).

If you’re in a community, don’t be afraid to reach out for help. Whether it’s friends, or simply to sit and talk to someone. If you’re in a community, reach out and help people who might be struggling. We are all doing this together. I know it may be trite, but we are all in this together. The only person who can stand up for you, is you, but I’ll be damned if we can’t all try to help you while you try.

In the meantime, I’m going to stay with my community, and let them help me until Jon finds a new job, and a new adventure.

Until Next Time.
-The Frisky Fairy