A "relationship map," a collection of colored stars, hearts and circles with letters insides, connected to one another by lines

Please remember to be polite and respectful in the comments. Welcome to the third portion of my four part discussion on Bad Poly. Today I’m going to talk about communication. Why it’s important, and why I am so deliciously, delightfully, disastrously bad at it. Check the new language below! Primary Partner: In many relationships a primary partner is the person(s) in the relationships accorded the most importance. Secondary Partner:  In many relationships, a secondary partner is the person(s) in the relationship who, have a relationship that is given less in time/energy/etc. than a primary relationship. Tertiary Partner: The person(s) in the relationship who have a relationship that requires littleRead More →

The Frisky Fairy Reviews favorite toys, books, blogs, and other fun sex education reviews! First things first, a HUGE congratulations to Adriane, Sarah, Bradley, Danielle, Liz, Jamie, Patrycja, Crista and Victoria for winning my holiday giveaway! Thank you for everyone who entered, I really adore that you’re supporting me! So before I got to interview Cooper S. Beckett about his awesome, awesome book, I got to read it, and hot damn Cooper has a way with words. I don’t often have so many feelings during a book (partly because I read them so fast, and partly because of the content), but I definitely got to enjoy thisRead More →

I know I said I’d be back on the 8th, but I JUST MISSED YOU GUYS OKAY!? So, a bit of backstory for you kinky kittens. I got a chance to meet Cooper S. Beckett (Yes, the one from Life on the Swingset) at CatalystCon West 2014. I was lucky enough to be introduced courtesy of my AMAZING roommates, and so I was in complete and utter shock at the fact that not only did I get to meet the infamous Swingset crew, but I actually got to hang out with them, like a lot. Like these people decided that I was going to be a friend (orRead More →

Please remember to be polite and respectful in the comments. Welcome to the second portion of my four part discussion on Bad Poly. Today, we’re going to talk about something which many people find to be one of the “stranger” parts of poly. The idea of compersion. As with before, let me lay down some terms for you! Compersion: Often considered the opposite of jealousy, compersion is the positive feelings that you experience when your partner is investing in a relationship with someone else. Metamour: Your partner’s partner. Envy: When you want what someone else has. Jealousy: When you’re worried someone is trying to take what you have.Read More →

Please remember to be polite and respectful in the comments. Welcome to my four part discussion on Bad Poly. Today, we’re going to talk about a really central theme to polyamory: Jealousy. Before we dig into this, let me lay down some definitions that we will be chatting about: Envy: When you want what someone else has. Jealousy: When you’re worried someone is trying to take what you have. NRE: New Relationship Energy- The excitement that exists when a relationship is new. Can last 3 months-2 years and beyond, and is individual to each relationship. There is a consistent theme when I am discussing polyamory around monogamous folk.Read More →

Please remember to be polite and respectful in the comments. I saw it coming from a mile away. I tried to pretend it wasn’t happening, but I just couldn’t shake the nagging feeling that my relationship with Winston was ending. He moved south for school and I noticed that the texts stopped coming. Truly, this was also my fault. After all, the phone works both ways, and the messages weren’t coming from me either. I tried to pretend it wasn’t happening, that he was just too busy to be keeping in touch. After all, we had our weekly Skype dates, and we texted sometimes, when weRead More →

Please remember to be polite and respectful in the comments. Hello friends! This week I’m discussing a topic that is incredibly close to my heart. This companion to my post So You Think You May Be Poly… has been requested from me multiple times for the friends and family of poly people, to explain the basics of polyamory. This is not a comprehensive guide. In fact, consider this a Part I. First things first, what is Polyamory? If you are hearing about this for the first time, the concept of poly may be bringing up images of religious men with many wives, or crazy sex partiesRead More →

I had been openly poly with my two partners Jon and Kai for almost three years when I met James* in September of 2012. He was handsome, funny, charming, and intelligent. Did I mention charming? I felt so incredibly lucky to have met such a handsome guy on my first real venture into polyamorous dating, and I was enjoying every minute of new relationship energy. In December, after meeting James, I was introduced to Lina*, another girl he was seeing. I spent the next weekend with her, and we swiftly became good friends. The three of us spent time enjoying each other whenever we hadRead More →

The Frisky Fairy Reviews favorite toys, books, blogs, and other fun sex education reviews!  I love dating websites. I cannot hide how much I love dating websites. I love to play on them, and see the new people who are looking for similar things. I like to see how they are policed and the way they are designed. So, when I was contacted by BeyondTwo.com to write a review of their site, I was really excited. My first impressions of BeyondTwo.com are mostly positive. I like that it’s not just a dating site, but is also for networking and creating a community within the polyamorous lifestyle.Read More →

Please remember to be polite and respectful in the comments. I frequently get contacted by people who wonder whether they are polyamorous or not. They ask whether they could even give non-monogamy a shot. Unfortunately there is no real quiz you can take to find out if polyamory is right for you, however some of your current behaviors and beliefs can help you decide whether or not non-monogamy is worth exploring. Are you comfortable with the idea that there is no normal? One of the coolest, and also hardest, parts of polyamory for me personally was the idea that there is no normal. There are so manyRead More →