For a long time, people have joked that I’m a succubus. After all, when I have sex, when I get off, the world stops for me. I connect to the universe in a way that fills me with power. Power that rolls up my arms and into my soul. It’s the power that crackles between two people before their lips touch. It’s the desperate need and want of the first thrust. It’s the power that leaves me feeling energized and my partners feeling exhausted. That’s why we say that I’m a succubus. I use that power to charge my charisma, and that’s what draws inRead More →

I will not tolerate abusive or harassing behavior on my site. My site, my rules. Don’t like it? GTFO. This is to serve as both a content notice and a notice about NSFW language and images. Poly Living Philadelphia! This weekend (if you’ve been following me on Twitter), you may have noticed that I was at Poly Living Philadelphia. PLP is a reasonably small con hosted by Loving More, a non-profit that focuses on poly activism and relationship choice. There were a number of amazing things to come out of the weekend. I shared some pretty spectacular kisses. I met some new friends, and some friends I hadRead More →

Please remember to be polite and respectful in the comments. Welcome to the fourth and final segment of my four part discussion on Bad Poly. Today I’m going to talk about sex, a topic that needs no other introduction. Check the new language below! Sex-positive: Understanding that sex can potentially be a positive force in someone’s life, regardless of desires, relationship structures, and/or consensual individual choices.  This is my working definition, and I include those who do not enjoy/do not have sex, are anorgasmic, or feel that sex is a negative influence in their life. Primary Partner: In many relationships a primary partner is the person(s) in theRead More →

A "relationship map," a collection of colored stars, hearts and circles with letters insides, connected to one another by lines

Please remember to be polite and respectful in the comments. Welcome to the third portion of my four part discussion on Bad Poly. Today I’m going to talk about communication. Why it’s important, and why I am so deliciously, delightfully, disastrously bad at it. Check the new language below! Primary Partner: In many relationships a primary partner is the person(s) in the relationships accorded the most importance. Secondary Partner:  In many relationships, a secondary partner is the person(s) in the relationship who, have a relationship that is given less in time/energy/etc. than a primary relationship. Tertiary Partner: The person(s) in the relationship who have a relationship that requires littleRead More →

Please remember to be polite and respectful in the comments. Welcome to the second portion of my four part discussion on Bad Poly. Today, we’re going to talk about something which many people find to be one of the “stranger” parts of poly. The idea of compersion. As with before, let me lay down some terms for you! Compersion: Often considered the opposite of jealousy, compersion is the positive feelings that you experience when your partner is investing in a relationship with someone else. Metamour: Your partner’s partner. Envy: When you want what someone else has. Jealousy: When you’re worried someone is trying to take what you have.Read More →

Please remember to be polite and respectful in the comments. I see a lot of posts promising that if you do this one trick, you’ll have the best sex of your life. If you try this one position you’ll have mind-blowing, passionate sex that will blow your mind. There really is only one way to ensure that you are going to have the best sex of your life. Are you ready for this life-changing tip? Are you sure? You need to ask for it. I know it sounds silly, and a bit ridiculous, but that really is the only way that you can get theRead More →

Please remember to be polite and respectful in the comments. I frequently get contacted by people who wonder whether they are polyamorous or not. They ask whether they could even give non-monogamy a shot. Unfortunately there is no real quiz you can take to find out if polyamory is right for you, however some of your current behaviors and beliefs can help you decide whether or not non-monogamy is worth exploring. Are you comfortable with the idea that there is no normal? One of the coolest, and also hardest, parts of polyamory for me personally was the idea that there is no normal. There are so manyRead More →