I had been openly poly with my two partners Jon and Kai for almost three years when I met James* in September of 2012. He was handsome, funny, charming, and intelligent. Did I mention charming? I felt so incredibly lucky to have met such a handsome guy on my first real venture into polyamorous dating, and I was enjoying every minute of new relationship energy. In December, after meeting James, I was introduced to Lina*, another girl he was seeing. I spent the next weekend with her, and we swiftly became good friends. The three of us spent time enjoying each other whenever we hadRead More →

Please remember to be polite and respectful in the comments. Join me at Sexploratorium Thursday, July 24th at 7pm for Sex and Cancer! Get your tickets here! Cancer is a disease that affects millions of Americans, with more diagnosed cases each year. Approximately 54% of cases in the top ten cancers are under the age of 70, and yet, there is very little discussion in doctors offices about how cancer will affect your sex life. There’s little talk about how medications will change your body and your libido-beyond the discussion of fertility after treatment. A cancer diagnosis can often make you feel less human. With all the tests,Read More →

African-American man smoking a pipe with a critical quote about Hobby Lobby

This is to serve as both a trigger warning and a warning about NSFW language and/or images. I was intending on writing a lovely post to extol the virtues of my new favorite lube, however, I came home from my vacation to this shit. This post is going to be about the SCOTUS decision in Burwell v. Hobby Lobby Stores, Inc. Now, the overall takeaway for this is that Hobby Lobby WILL COVER all of the following forms of birth control: Male condoms Female condoms Diaphragms with spermicide Sponges with spermicide Cervical caps with spermicide Spermicide alone Birth-control pills with estrogen and progestin (“Combined Pill) Birth-control pills with progestinRead More →

This is to serve as both a content notice and a warning about NSFW language and/or images. Every single year there is at least one blog post that goes viral that discusses the behaviors of young women during the warmer months. Most of the time those blogs discuss the ways that women are destroying the men of the world and luring them into sin and hellfire by posting a sultry picture of themselves in a bikini, or a sexy summer pic on instagram where they’re braless and comfortable. Today, I’m here to bitch about them. This is such bullshit. This is the bullshit that people areRead More →

Please remember to be polite and respectful in the comments. I see a lot of posts promising that if you do this one trick, you’ll have the best sex of your life. If you try this one position you’ll have mind-blowing, passionate sex that will blow your mind. There really is only one way to ensure that you are going to have the best sex of your life. Are you ready for this life-changing tip? Are you sure? You need to ask for it. I know it sounds silly, and a bit ridiculous, but that really is the only way that you can get theRead More →

I tend to write and talk about my experience with cancer and how it relates to relationships and sex. While I find this is an important thing to do, I also recognize that it’s not really sex related. I’m writing this to put the story out here, so that it can be referenced as needed. Starting in about 2008 (18) or so I was having issues breathing and migraines. I was coughing a lot and getting sick rather frequently. I continued to assume that it was just general sick, and mostly ignored it. As it kept happening, I mentioned it to my doctors, and was toldRead More →

Please remember to be polite and respectful in the comments. I frequently get contacted by people who wonder whether they are polyamorous or not. They ask whether they could even give non-monogamy a shot. Unfortunately there is no real quiz you can take to find out if polyamory is right for you, however some of your current behaviors and beliefs can help you decide whether or not non-monogamy is worth exploring. Are you comfortable with the idea that there is no normal? One of the coolest, and also hardest, parts of polyamory for me personally was the idea that there is no normal. There are so manyRead More →

This is to serve as both a content warning and a warning about NSFW language and/or images. Before I begin anything that I am about to say, I want to express my most heartfelt condolences to the families of the victims of the Santa Barbara tragedy. This was a tragedy that should never have happened. Let me repeat that for you, because it is important. This was a tragedy that should never have happened. The hardest part for me about writing this post was reading the manifesto, because of how blatantly obvious it was that society has created this dilemma. There were parts that made me sickRead More →

I will not tolerate abusive or harassing behavior on my site. My site, my rules. Don’t like it? GTFO. This is to serve as both a trigger warning and a warning about NSFW language and/or images. The news of the death of Fred Phelps (leader of the church/hate group Westboro Baptist Church) sent ripples of conversation through the country. The immediate reactions that I could see in my social media feeds were relief and joy. After seeing how many people were impacted by the negativity shared, I can understand those emotions, and I truly feel that they are valid.  I did not love Fred Phelps.Read More →

Please remember to be polite and respectful in the comments. Today I want to talk about sex negativity, sex positivity and what it means for this blog. I would like to start by defining both of these terms: Sex Positive (As explained by Wikipedia): “an attitude towards human sexuality that regards all consensual sexual activities as fundamentally healthy and pleasurable, and encourages sexual pleasure and experimentation. The sex-positive movement is a social and philosophical movement that advocates these attitudes. The sex-positive movement advocates sex education and safer sex as part of its campaign.” Sex Negative (As explained by Jillian Horowitz): ” Being sex-negative means acknowledging that sex, and kink,Read More →