As usual, I’m going to ask, nay, BEG my Parents, Family Members, Employer and Future Employers to please not read this post. If you read it, I’m not responsible for what you read, as it will constitute a serious overshare of my life. Thanks!
PS- This post includes affiliate links <3
First things first, I want to thank all my readers for being super patient with me. I’ve been having some very, very heavy things happening here at home. While I want to share them with you, I need a bit more time to process them myself, but just know I haven’t forgotten you, and I’m still around <3
Let’s get on with the review! The remarkable folks at Good Vibrations recently sent me home with a curious little friend. A friend called “The Womanizer”. I have to thank them, because the name now means that I can use Britney gifs all through this review! #sorrynotsorry
This toy is completely fucking ridiculous, but let’s talk, shall we?
First off, what comes with this strange little friend? Well, you have a charging cord, two silicone heads, the toy itself and the case. The charging cord is a micro USB so it’ll work on your phone (or you can charge your toy with your phone cable. Your choice). I love that companies are opting for micro USB rather than individual cords. It makes things SO much easier when it comes to charging and transporting large containers of sex toys across state lines.
One of my favorite things about this packaging is the case. even with everything inside of it, it’s still roomy enough for another toy, extra chargers, a bottle of lube, or any number of other things. It’s a great little carrying pouch.
The toy is weird looking. While it does look expensive, it also looks gaudy as fuck. It also is very reminiscent of a thermometer that goes in the ear. It’s super strange. I love the shape though. It’s really intuitive in your hand, and I love the curve of it. A lot of clit toys don’t seem to work with a larger pubic mound, but this one did pretty damn well! I’d be interested in seeing what its sibling (The Womanizer Deluxe) looks like in person or feels like in the hand.
The usage though is fairly simple. Push the button that has the power symbol on it to turn it on. Place the suction cup over the clitoris (get that seal reaaaaal snug). Use the gemstone to select between 6 intensities. If you accidentally go too far, gently tap the power button and keep pushing the gemstone again. Hold the power button to turn off.
One of the great things about the toy is the green power button. I love that it lets you know that it’s on. I DON’T love that weird red light. It’s like a fucking gynecological flashlight to search for the clitoris. 1. If I’m using this toy I have no reason to be looking at the red light. 2. know where my clit is (and if you don’t know where yours is grab a mirror and poke around!)
Surprisingly, I love this fucking thing. It has been a lifesaver since my partner has been long distance. It’s creates this suction feeling around my clit that has given me better oral than most Tinder dates I’ve been on. You absolutely MUST be sure that the seal is tight. No seal, no suction. (I had to move my labia minora out of the way to make it happen.) After I sorted out the suction situation, it was a fucking earth shattering orgasm!
Unfortunately, the name is fucking horrible. First off, “Womanizer” is probably one of the closest to a derogatory sexual term for men that exists. It just sounds awful and vaguely implies that this toy takes on masculine traits, which I feel could probably alienate a number of folks who would really love this toy. Also, seriously? Could we come up with other names for the toy that don’t inspire a Britney Spears song?
Leave your name suggestions in the comments. I’ll put together a poll, and I will personally give the winner a $10 gift card to Good Vibrations!
All in all, This toy is fucking incredible. The suction feels amazing and gives such a good orgasm that it’s easy to imagine that my long-distance boyfriend was between my thighs. Would I be willing to pay $189 for it? If I had the money, probably. It lives next to my hitachi now. This weird looking toy is the Gremlin After Midnight in a land full of Toy Pomeranians toy gets the frisky fairy seal of approval. Pick up one of your own (using my swanky affiliate link!) today by clicking here!!
Until Next Time!
-The Frisky Fairy