The Tantus Plunge Paddle AKA Holy Fuck, My Ass


Dear parents, siblings, relatives, and employers of mine. Please stop reading, for your sanity, and mine.
Trust me.
go away pirates


The moment I held it in my hands, I knew I wanted it for my own. The silicone was so soft, so supple. I gave it a small swat on my hand and felt warm inside. The way it bent and waved, I knew I needed it. I had to have it. I wanted to have it on me, in me. I wanted to feel gentle caress of the silicone against my ass, and then feel the soft, wonderful swat afterwards.

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I failed to take into account the fact that I wouldn’t be the one doing the swatting.

I never said I was the smartest…

See the thing about the Tantus Plunge paddle is that it’s an absolutely vicious, bitey toy. The bendy, soft, supple silicone is deceptive. You think it’s going to be soft and feel soft, and then you get a proper swing behind it, and not only does it make a terrifically loud sound, but it also hurts like fucking hell.

GUESS WHO WAS ON THE RECEIVING END OF THE PROPER SWING. Oh yeah, me.
giphy (13)

The toy itself fits in your hand wonderfully. The handle is curved and fits well in your hands, and it’s weighted well enough that even someone who has terrible coordination (me, I’m talking about me) can toss it in the air and catch it by the handle on the way down.

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The one concern I have about the two is the hole in the handle. While the hole in the handle would be excellent for having a wrist strap put through, I get a bit concerned about the things that can happen inside the hole. Namely, I didn’t want to be uncomfortable feeling a strange gap in a toy while it was inside my (super sensitive) vagina. This is the vagina that doesn’t like fingers unless they’re wrapped in gloves because it’s so sensitive. Luckily, that wasn’t a problem for me, and I barely noticed a difference.

The scary hole

The scary hole

I was incredibly paranoid during the entire fucking me portion because I didn’t want the hole to grab my IUD cords and pull it free. So paranoid, in fact, that I wouldn’t let my partner push as deep as I wanted because of that. So paranoid that immediately after, I required a visual and fingers inside of me to check for said IUD. The IUD was still there, but I was still nervous about it.

The other issue I have with the hole is that it is a HUGE collector of bodily fluids. In fact, even after boiling the paddle, I still found cum in the hole. This is because inside the hole is a small seam that cum gets stuck up against. This can be fixed with a q-tip immediately after use, and likely will be fixed as the seam is worn down, but it was still a bit worrisome for me. I might take my nail file to it and see if I can’t get that seam a little flatter.

displeasure

One of the things I love/hate about this paddle is the thinness of the silicone on the paddle portion. On one hand, the thinness makes the swatting and biting much easier. On the other hand, if you clip someone with the side of the paddle mid-swing, it is the most vicious, terrible hurt you could ever imagine. I got clipped by the side of the paddle right near the inside of my ass cheek and I thought I was going to die.
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That being said, If you’re a fan of having your ass turn red and purple from one singular, painful implement, this might be the toy for you. My ass is notoriously hard to bruise and you can see some bruising in the center of my ass below. Tantus was NOT fucking around when they made this beastie.

dat ass
All in all, if you’re a bit masochistic or sadistic, or you simply like the threat of torturing someone with this brutal silicone masterpiece, the Tantus Plunge Paddle gets the Frisky Fairy seal of approval. Pick one of your own up here, and check this monster in action below <3

Ow.

Ow.

Until Next Time!
-The Frisky Fairy

One Reply to “The Tantus Plunge Paddle AKA Holy Fuck, My Ass”

  1. Yessssss.
    I too am the owner of a hard-to-bruise ass and am now positive that I need this. Awesome review. That hole really is obnoxious. While I wouldn’t care about the sensation, the fact that it holds so much crud bothers me.

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