If you were to tell me that I could get a sex toy that was designed with a penis in mind, that could also get me off in the process, I would jump at the chance to try it. So when I heard about the PULSE II DUO, I was so excited I nearly tore off my panties to try it.
The PULSE is marketed as the world’s “first guybrator” and is designed to be placed on the penis (erect or flaccid) and will oscillate against the frenulum for stimulation. The wings of the toy are designed to expand and customize the fit against the penis. The PULSE SOLO is designed for solo use as a masturbator, but Hot Octopuss wanted more from their toys. They wanted a toy that could enrich the sex lives of the people who used it. The PULSE DUO (as in, pair) is, as you can imagine, designed to be used with two people. Now, I’m a girl who enjoys couples toys. I like playing with toys and I like playing with my partners, so having something we can play with together is even better.
An image of the PULSE from the website!
One of the things I was most drawn to about the PULSE is how it was designed for those with erectile dysfunction and mobility issues. I actually really loved that it’s designed for people with mobility issues, mostly because that is an underserved community. The reviews on their site from customers are astounding and wonderful and it was recommended by (one of my personal heroes) Joan Price. So naturally, I was super excited to try it out.
For this review, I subjected my partner B as my guinea pig. We pulled the toy out twice. The first time, he had an erection and we used it together, the second time he did not and he used it solo. After all of that, I interviewed him and recorded his reactions below.
The Frisky Fairy (FF): So you were saying the first time we tried it, it was terrible
B (B): The first time we tried it it was terrible because I wanted to be inside of you and it was in the way. It’s ugly and a bit of a weird shape and it’s too stiff to really mold to your body. It’s hard to press the buttons. But the vibrations didn’t actually feel bad. It was not hindering my erections. I mean it felt good…just not as good as having sex with you. When I used it while I had an erection, it felt decent. When we were trying to use it as marketed together it wasn’t hindering my erection. The vibrations once it was on were not that bad.
FF: [laughs] Okay. So what do you think about the fact that the toy itself is marketed towards people who experience erectile dysfunction?
B: When I’ve had erectile dysfunction before, it’s always something I have when I’m with a new partner and it’s a mental thing. I have never had stage fright with my own hand. So using this was of no benefit and was actually just not as good as using my hand. If I’m using it by myself then I would rather just not. [laughs] I mean it’s still weirdly large and a bizarre ugly shape. It looks like a sniper scope on a comic book gun. Yeah no I wouldn’t use it.
FF: So given the option if you were not able to maintain an erection?
B: I don’t think it would help. It would not help me. If I got an erection and I was worried about losing one, then… I also don’t think it would help. It was good at sort of consistently maintaining my erection when I had it on and you were on top of me. It was maintaining my erection. That might help, it might not but it wouldn’t help enough that I would want to use that rather than just try to have sex.
FF: When we were playing with it the first time together and I was on top, can you describe that sensation? I remember that the toy stopped, the motor stopped. Was it uncomfortable?
B: It wasn’t uncomfortable. I think the yeah the motor did stop. I can’t remember when the motor stopped; was that when you were on top of me?
FF: Yeah I was on top. Part of the reason I’m asking this is that the big issue I have with this toy in terms of for somebody who would be on top is that the vibrations stopped, the motor stopped. I can’t tell if it’s a matter of too much pressure because I’m fat or…
B: I don’t think that was it, because you weren’t putting all of your weight down on this toy. Because that would’ve been painful for my penis.
FF: Right, I was putting enough of my weight down that I could enjoy some sort of vibration and anytime I would move it would start slowing down.
B: That’s something that I noticed just myself though. I don’t think that was you. I don’t think that the engine was particularly strong. In terms of the motor I would be very negative of it if they were trying to price it in the same price range as LELO [AN: he pronounced it Lee-Loo, because british] products. It’s not in that quality range, and I don’t really like LELO products. I wouldn’t use it, I wouldn’t buy it.
FF: *whispering* Lee-low
B: Whatever. Multipass.
[AN: Evidently, it’s pronounced like “yellow”. We were both wrong.]
FF: So you wouldn’t recommend it to friends but would you recommend friends away from it if somebody was like “hey, I’m thinking about getting this toy”.
B: I would say check other similar toys on the market and look for reviews, I was not impressed with this toy. I would not recommend it because I don’t have a point of reference so it would be hard for me to get a judgement. Based on the quality I think a fair price would be $40-50. It’s a terribly designed sex toy but it looks and feels like it’s a reasonably high end toy.
FF: So you’re wholly unimpressed. Would you prefer to use that toy or would you prefer the Hitachi in terms of vibration on your dick? How many stars would you give it?
B: [sighs] The Hitachi is certainly better made. [laughs] The Hitachi is also not designed for use by men whereas that toy was. I would give it 4 stars out of 10.
FF: Okay, I’m going to tell you the price point because I want to get your reaction to it. So the price of the Pulse II Duo is $139, the price of the Pulse II Solo is $99. We used the Duo.
B: That is terrible. I would not pay half that amount. If it was $50 I would’ve been impressed. I could tell that it was around the $100 mark.
FF: So now can you fuck me instead of talking about sex toys that we aren’t going to use?
I hope beyond all hopes that I got a defective model. I hope that they break in with wear. There are a number of positive reviews for transfolk, people who experience erectile dysfunction, and people with mobility issues on how they’re able to feel great about their sex lives again. That being said, I had a terrible experience with it. It was super hard for me (a person without terrible mobility issues) to press the buttons and get the toy working. I also took issue with the fact that, as a fat person, I couldn’t enjoy the vibrations with my partner without the toy’s motor stopping. The toy itself was bulky and underwhelming for the price.
I hate writing bad reviews, so please take a look at the Hot Octopuss website, and see the other reviews from people to find out if this toy would be a good fit for you. Unfortunately, the Hot Octopuss PULSE II DUO did not work for me, but if you think it’ll work for you you can pick up one of your own here.
Until Next Time!
-The Frisky Fairy