The Frisky Fairy Rants: Apparently Equality is a Pipe Dream


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This is to serve as both a trigger warning and a warning about NSFW language and images.

I was going to continue my holiday reviews, but I’m actually so pissed off that I’m skipping the review tonight y’all. I’ll save it for the new year. HARRUMPH.

Remember how I spent THREE DAYS talking about what it’s like being a woman on the internet? No? Check here, here, and here. Go ahead, I’ll wait. Now that you’re caught up on how fucking tedious it is to exist as anything other than cis-male* let’s have a conversation about shitty decision making!

*I am only able to speak from the experience of a cis-female. There are plenty of other activists who have lots of important things to say

Jennifer Lawrence sent “racy” photos to her boyfriend. That is not shitty decision making. If Jennifer Lawrence sent a racy photo to a random person on the internet after a conversation in which those photos were promised to be confidential, and that random person sold them, or shared them publicly (without consent) that wouldn’t be shitty decision making on her part. That’d be shitty decision making on behalf of the fuckwagon who released them.

Jennifer herself said some pretty great things on the topic:

“Just because I’m a public figure, just because I’m an actress, does not mean that I asked for this,” she told Vanity Fair. “It does not mean that it comes with the territory. It’s my body, and it should be my choice, and the fact that it is not my choice is absolutely disgusting. I can’t believe that we even live in that kind of world.” (Vanity Fair)

“It is not a scandal. It is a sex crime. It is a sexual violation. It’s disgusting. The law needs to be changed, and we need to change. That’s why these Web sites are responsible. Just the fact that somebody can be sexually exploited and violated, and the first thought that crosses somebody’s mind is to make a profit from it. It’s so beyond me. I just can’t imagine being that detached from humanity. I can’t imagine being that thoughtless and careless and so empty inside.” (Vanity Fair)

Here, let me bold a very, very important point. I remember when it first came out, I heard multiple people mention that no one was trying to make a profit from her photos.

“Just the fact that somebody can be sexually exploited and violated, and the first thought that crosses somebody’s mind is to make a profit from it.”

You would fucking think, being that the interview was so high profile, that a company would maybe have not made a profit from the sexual violation and exploitation of a human being.

EXCEPT OH WAIT. They fucking did.

Now, I’ve never paid attention to Pipedreams, beyond knowing that they’ve got some really shitty products that aren’t body safe. I’m going to give you a full disclosure here. Most of products I review here are products that I’ve reached out to ask a company if I can review them because I found the product interesting or it seemed really cool.  I doubt that I’m ever going to end up reviewing a Pipedreams product, because, well… I don’t want to, and that opinion won’t ever fucking change at this point.

You see, yesterday a dear friend of mine posted that Pipedreams released a new toy. I’m not even going to bother linking to it, because even the link makes me feel like I need a shower. Here’s a photo of the box.

Packaging for "J-Law Hacked Love Doll"

Yes, those are poses from Jennifer Lawrence’s hacked photos.

That’s right! Pipedreams released a Jennifer Lawrence inspired blow up doll. On the box it has a model who looks very similar to Jennifer Lawrence in what I have been told are poses from the hacked photos. Being that I never looked at them, I’m not 100% sure, but if they are, that means not only did this manufacturer look at the stolen photos, they used them for MARKETING PURPOSES. Wait until you read the DISGUSTING marketing they’ve released with it.

We’re not sure what came faster, news of J-Laws leaked selfies or the thousands of guys waiting for this day to finally come! She did the world a favor when her sexy selfies spread across the internet, and now Hollywood’s honey is getting naked for the money! If hacked cell phone pics weren’t enough to make J-Law our favorite new selfie slut, her brand new blowup doll is proof that this blockbuster babe is ready for primetime penetration! Just add air and this American hustler transforms into America’s hooker right before your eyes! There’s no silver lining to her 3 love holes, but if you add a little lube they feel great wrapping around every inch of your pleasure rod! Her cloud got hacked so you can get jacked!

I am so angry I can’t actually type. There are not enough words for me to explain how fucking shady this shit is. How fucked up is it that a company insinuates that Jennifer Lawrence did the world a favor when she was the victim of a fucking sex crime. In addition to their tone deaf comments on sex workers, this is fucking gross enough.

But Wait! There’s MORE!

“Nobody creates products with mainstream crossover appeal like Pipedream,” Pipedream CEO Nick Orlandino said. “The publicity we receive when one of these celebrity dolls hits the market is priceless. Our customers will definitely experience rising sales as J-Law blows up — literally!“  (Xbiz)

THANK YOU CEO NICK ORLANDINO. Thank you for exposing Pipedreams as the sleazy fucking bullshit company they are. Because what you have effectively said with your words is that you and your company publicly stand by the criminals who hacked into the cloud and released the private, personal photos of celebrities to the internet. In addition to that, you have insinuated that you believe that you have the right to use that violation for your financial benefit. Beyond all of that, you used the likeness of a human being (or as close as you could get without getting a lawsuit I bet) and a pretty fucking traumatizing event to sell your garbage sex toys.

This is everything, EVERYTHING that is wrong with the sex toy industry. The idea that it’s okay to use shitty marketing that capitalizes on a sex crime.  The idea that using sexist marketing will encourage sales. Let us not forget about the racism in their marketing as well (special thanks to the awesome Aida Manduley for tackling this subject). In reality, this sort of marketing? It hurts people. Speaking of hurting people, do we even need to talk about your shitty products and whether or not they’re body safe?

You make me fucking sick. Pipedreams, Nick Orlandino, Everyone who thought this was okay, you make me fucking sick. You should all be ashamed of yourselves.

If you want to act and do something, click here to be taken to the Pipedreams contact page. For an excellent idea on what to say, check out Sarah’s post on Marvy-Darling.

Also, I’m not the only person who is pissed about this bullshit. Check out these other outraged voices (If you’ve blogged about this topic, please contact me and I’ll add your info to the list!)

Until Next Time.
-The Frisky Fairy.