The Frisky Fairy Reviews favorite toys, books, blogs, and other fun sex education reviews!
NSFW images ahead…. you have been warned.
So I had been very excited to try the Oral Sex Deck, partly because I love the idea of a deck of cards that can be use for trying new things, and partly because I wanted to make a collage from them…
That being said, I really don’t find much use for them either way. That sounds harsh, I know but I found a couple really great things about them, and then a bunch of really not so great ones.
Let’s start with the good!
First things first, the packaging is GORGEOUS. The deck box itself is really sleek and sexy, and just looks like something you want to touch and open. It’s easy to get into while still being reasonably secure, and simply lovely. The cards themselves are a nice weight, and pack a lot of information into a small space. They are numbered for ease of use, and they include 25 tips for cunnilingus (“for him”) and 25 tips for fellatio (“for her”).
The deck also includes a whole lot of anallingus! A whopping 7/50 cards included stimulation of the anus, and 4/7 were about anal pleasure specifically for vagina-havers! It was nice to see more talk about anal play for women that includes pleasure for the receiving partner, instead of seeing yet another note on anal for pleasuring your partner. It was also pretty sweet that they introduced the idea of a threesome fantasy and talked about discussing things after the fantasy, to unpack whether or not it needed to become reality. Another thing was how awesome it was to have 25 cards for men and women, and a nice even split between the two.
That’s about it for the good.
So first, while I appreciate that they included fantasy oral sex and things, I really didn’t like that everything dealing with fantasy was really geared towards cis men, and much of the kinky things were done for male pleasure. I know I’m a feminist killjoy, but a lot of this deck was really done with the male gaze in mind, and very little of it made me want to enjoy any of these things (and I get turned on when the breeze changes). Alas, this isn’t really the worst of my problems with this deck.
So I’m going to go on a bit of a rant here. I’m a little tired of books from Quiver that aren’t freaking inclusive. I’m not asking for someone who looks like me as a model, but can we get some people who are slightly larger? In addition, can we get some people who are slightly more diverse in color? I’m 100% positive that there are a lot of people out there who have sex, like sex, and want sex but are not conventionally attractive, white, heterosexuals.
The thing that really pisses me off about this deck is that they didn’t even have to get real models to do some of these! If they were SO uncomfortable with people of color, fat people, gay people, disabled, or non-normative bodies, there were a bunch of illustrations (because we can’t show a penis in a picture apparently), that they could have colored the images differently, or even simply changed the faces or bodies on them. It’s not that fucking hard y’all, to not do it is simply laziness.
Another thing that causes me a tremendous amount of annoyance is how they switch back and forth between language. They use colloquial terms mixed with anatomical language. That is something I have a pretty big issue with for reasons you will see, but of you must use it, be consistent. If you’re going to use anus, always use anus. If you’re going to use taint instead of perineum, BE CONSISTENT. Use them all the time, don’t switch back and forth between the two. That’s incredibly confusing and incredibly infuriating.
There are a billion words out there that could be used to discuss the body. If you’re going to use colloquial terms, try to use the ones that EVERYONE knows. When discussing anal play, we have the following words: “booty cheeks”, “pucker”, “butt cheeks”, “perineum”, “slit”, “million dollar point” (aka the perineum), “bum hole”. What the actual fuck? We are some grown ups. This isn’t us talking to children about where they poo. We are talking about bodies and about sex, and while Quiver doesn’t have the information for the authors available, they are probably designated as sex experts. So act like a fucking expert. It’s a perineum, not a “million dollar point”, it’s a frenulum, not an “f-spot”, and for fuck’s sake, it’s an anus. Not a “pucker”, not a “bum hole”, an anus.
Say it with me, y’all.
In addition to this nonsense the tips themselves aren’t particularly creative or good even from a vanilla monogamous standpoint, as well as being relatively hard to understand. If you’re going to offer tips for “Toe-Curling Ecstasy”, don’t just pass off the same shit we’ve seen in Cosmo for the past 50 years as something super inventive and jaw-dropping.
I do not love these. There were tons of problems with diversity issues, and I’m frankly, over it. There is a lot of information out there for your standard white, able bodied, attractive/normative heterosexual couples, and this deck could have EASILY included a little bit more diversity in the models. In addition, the lack of cohesive language was incredibly off-putting, and the tips were simply not that great. I was not a fan, and the Oral Sex Deck does not get the Frisky Fairy seal of approval. I would recommend this book if you’re looking for some oral sex tips (and can deal with a lack of diversity). If you want to get frisky and give it a try, get yours here:
Until Next Time!
-The Frisky Fairy